Somewhere in all of this,
i'm supposed to find happiness.
Or love.
Or excitement.
Or some emotion like that.

Somewhere in all of this,
i'm supposed to be sure of myself.
And find myself.
And find some sort of self confidence.

Somewhere in all of this,
i'm supposed to learn
that i don't need to change my clothes
six times in the morning
just to impress people.
Or lose weight,
just to feel beautiful.
Somewhere in all of this,
I'm supposed to stop looking for happiness
and let it find me.
Or something like that.

Somewhere in all of this,
i'm supposed to fucking know
what i'm doing.
Some how.
For some reason.

But i can't.
And i hate it.





I thought things were okay.
I think they still might be,
but i need to find a balance
before everything starts to get messy again.
If it's not already too late.